The Power in a Name
by QueenoftheRory
Summary: The Doctor reflects on how much his name truly means, along with the loss of his River. Oneshot.


**Hello all! :) Here we have another DoctorxRiver fic.**

**This one (and the first line) is inspired by a story told during a rehearsal for a concert by the music icon, Robert Page. He told us a story from his first teaching job, where the superintendent told him this:**

**"There's nothing more beautiful in the world than hearing your name said by someone else."**

**I love that quote so much and decided to use to for this fic :) I hope you enjoy it, reviews are always appreciated!**

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There is nothing more beautiful in this universe than hearing one's name spoken aloud by another.

A name is something that an individual is referred to for mainly the rest of their life. Whether it be a petname, a nickname, an offensive name, or simply a birth name...names stick with people forever.

That's why the Doctor's name was always so important to him...and kept secret.

Back when the Time War occurred, the true name of the Doctor had been pinned to that very event for the rest of time. Should another being hear his true name, they would cringe in disgust, remembering the stories told about the man that killed his own race. That is, except for a very, very special woman that goes by the name of _River Song_.

That's exactly why he entrusted with her his most precious possession; his name. He knew he could trust River (especially since her mother was his very own, brilliant Amelia Pond) with all of his hearts not to tell anyone or act disgusted. River had that way about her through things like that; usually only with him though. The curly-haired woman was certainly a mystery to him, even when he knew everything about her. Around others, she kept up a hard shell over her emotions, refusing to let any show. Yet, when she was with him, it was like that shell could shatter within an instant. That's why he rarely ever calls her River when they're only in each other's company. Melody was and always will be his name for his wife.

The Doctor was no fool; he knew back in Manhattan what River had been trying to do for him. That's why he chose her for his wife, he supposes. She could keep an un-cracked demeanor when he needed to break down the most. It's times like that when he didn't know what he would have done without her.

Thinking about River and Manhattan makes him feel incredibly guilty though. His wife never truly had the chance to properly mourn or say goodbye to her parents. And she never ever could, what with the paradox that would occur should they ever even try to return to New York.

Trying to keep his mind off of the upsetting times, he recalls the first time he'd ever heard his River say his true name. It was years ago, back on the Library the day he had met her...and oh, what a fool he'd been that day. Perhaps even naive would be a better term to describe his actions that day, even though he really hadn't been that young. A woman -a _complete stranger_- had practically waltzed into that Library and whispered to him his Gallifreyan name. There would only be one time he could ever tell anyone that name, and it would have to be his wife. Of course he knew the implications of her knowing at the time, yet his stupid, dense tenth regeneration refused to believe any of it...resulting in the death of his own wife. But oh, how good it had felt, at the same time, to hear his name spoken once more. He'd never really been a fan of his name, but hearing her say it then had given him goosebumps. There was a sort of promise to the way she had whispered it to him all that time ago on the Library.

Now, as he walks the corridors of the TARDIS alone, the true weight of that very day is bearing down upon him heavily. Mere hours ago, he had gone on his final date with that magnificent woman; to the Singing Towers of Darillium. The time had finally come where he could no longer say no to her asking to visit there. Their date had been marvelous, of course, but as all things do, it had to come to and end. At that time, the Doctor had been practically forced to walk his wife to her own death.

In the past few hours, one simple question had been haunting his mind; What if? What if he had more time with his Melody, if she had been able to stay around longer? Would they have had a family together eventually? Could they have? Is there a way he could have prevented her from going? Absolutely not. If River had never sacrificed herself to him at the Library, their timeline would never exist in the first place. His Melody might not have ever even been _born, _resulting in Amy and Rory never meeting (after all, she had set them up together when she was still Mels).

There is so much he wishes he could have said to his beloved wife before she left. However, all that he could manage to tell without breaking any spoilers was that he loved her no matter what. He still does love her; out there somewhere, River Song is sitting in Stormcage, and marrying him, and causing trouble...because time does not exist in a straight line. He knows that somewhere out there, the River Song he loves so very dearly lives on, even in the core of the Library.

The TARDIS comes to a stop then; she had been suspended in the vortex, but had obviously now brought him somewhere. He walks through the console room, utterly confused, and opens the door slowly. Outside is a small planet, glowing a faint, gold hue; The Planet of the Library. He smiles and bit sadly and leans against the door, taking a deep breath.

"River Song...Melody Pond, I know you can't hear me," he murmurs softly, "But if you could, I would tell you just how much I love you. All of those times we had together...the adventures, the pain, the laughs...those times were and are oh so precious to me. And I hope..." here, he swallows hard past his built up emotions. "I hope I haven't sentenced you to a lifetime of prison down there. That's the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to give you the chance to live even a bit of a normal life, in a place where you could live and cherish our memories...and I'm sorry if you're unhappy there. But Melody...my precious Melody, I love you. I wish I could tell you even just one last time."

By the time he's done, tears have already begun to make their way down his face. He leans against the door-frame of the TARDIS, closing his eyes tightly as more tears join the first few. Back on Darillium he had cried, but that was more sadness; these kind of tears were more mourning the loss of his wife.

When he finally composes himself, he sits in the doorway to watch the planet peacefully. After only a few moments, his eyes begin to drift shut as sleep overtakes him. Sleep isn't absolutely necessary for Timelords, but when going too long without any, it's vital to sleep it off. The past few nights had been sleepless for him; it had almost been like he could sense the oncoming day that his wife would leave.

Just before he falls asleep, he could swear he heard his name faintly whispered in the atmosphere around the TARDIS. Perhaps it had been his wife calling him, one last time? This is the last thought in his mind as he drifts off into an almost peaceful sleep.


End file.
